yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
