Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
