I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
