last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
