If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize