Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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