My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
