So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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