Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
