Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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