So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just found a bag of teeth...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
