there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My pussy is not your playground.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
