I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
