i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
