It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
