You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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