her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize