Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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