I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
