I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
nutella sex= disaster
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
