Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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