Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
