considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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