I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
