K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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