When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
