Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
