i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
