You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
