The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
