i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
