There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it because I queefed?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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