It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
