your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
