i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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