shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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