I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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