Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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