Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
