and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
