honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
