it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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