So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
