Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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