Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
