I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
