you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
