Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
