after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
