the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
