I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
